Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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