I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
