Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
