help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize