Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he puts the penis in happiness.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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