found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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