he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
