dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
