whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
