capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
