I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My hand turned me down
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
