We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
