so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
