his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
