you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
