I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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