Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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