the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
