Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

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  (561): It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out. http://tfl.nu/g5y4
  Replies (14) Good night (780) Bad night (6395)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list

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  (647): Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list http://tfl.nu/yikq
  Replies (23) Good night (5106) Bad night (998)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again

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  (708): there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again http://tfl.nu/npn0
  Replies (11) Good night (2302) Bad night (1256)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...

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  (956): He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type... http://tfl.nu/bma2
  Replies (12) Good night (4552) Bad night (1000)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic

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  (859): I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic http://tfl.nu/wb2m
  Replies (7) Good night (1185) Bad night (2186)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.

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  (317): Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home. http://tfl.nu/w49b
  Replies (2) Good night (1452) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from

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  (913): The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero. (816): Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from http://tfl.nu/rsiz
  Replies (9) Good night (2801) Bad night (743)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.

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  (602): Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library. http://tfl.nu/6qen
  Replies (12) Good night (1886) Bad night (717)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.

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  (940): She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job. http://tfl.nu/x6ef
  Replies (3) Good night (1700) Bad night (583)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.

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  (815): This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years. http://tfl.nu/zacn
  Replies (5) Good night (1613) Bad night (662)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.

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  (515): At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers. http://tfl.nu/s4no
  Replies (7) Good night (1432) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.

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  (248): I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose. http://tfl.nu/qcky
  Replies (2) Good night (737) Bad night (446)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?

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  (903): How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing? http://tfl.nu/tt7s
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (335)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.

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  (973): I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone. http://tfl.nu/3l6f
  Replies (1) Good night (350) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  we are not taking body shots with the irish cream

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  (719): we are not taking body shots with the irish cream http://tfl.nu/n0m2
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (259)

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