Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...