Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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