My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome