You just made me feel so damn special
My hand turned me down
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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