Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.

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  (415): I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it. http://tfl.nu/np4v
  Replies (3) Good night (662) Bad night (1142)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?

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  (785): So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor? http://tfl.nu/b721
  Replies (13) Good night (665) Bad night (3863)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.

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  (512): Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on. http://tfl.nu/m8nk
  Replies (11) Good night (1181) Bad night (3559)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.

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  (908): Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got. http://tfl.nu/yeqj
  Replies (12) Good night (1319) Bad night (4095)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7362) Bad night (944)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?

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  (203): So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu. (603): You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use? http://tfl.nu/ks5w
  Replies (8) Good night (3056) Bad night (893)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.

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  (570): no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from. http://tfl.nu/zs5p
  Replies (8) Good night (778) Bad night (2257)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  he is risen halelujah

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  (303): nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ (1-303): he is risen halelujah http://tfl.nu/sbcr
  Replies (6) Good night (1504) Bad night (627)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.

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  (804): I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin. http://tfl.nu/8mge
  Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (474)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.

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  (540): The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one. http://tfl.nu/uhr4
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (441)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?

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  (508): OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities? http://tfl.nu/uepx
  Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (495)
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  (347): View more from New York

  My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted

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  (347): My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted http://tfl.nu/iwx2
  Replies (4) Good night (1781) Bad night (389)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.

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  (360): My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be. http://tfl.nu/3ncs
  Replies (2) Good night (351) Bad night (446)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together

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  (715): The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together http://tfl.nu/qn3b
  Replies (0) Good night (370) Bad night (314)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.

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  (206): Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer. http://tfl.nu/p121
  Replies (0) Good night (335) Bad night (452)

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