Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize