so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
