so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Dignity is for republicans.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
