so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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