Jerry, you need to find god
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
