After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
