Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize