I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
