why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
