If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
