I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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