at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
