Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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