mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
