Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
