I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
