Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
