ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
