If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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