I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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