i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
