Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
that is very illegal...i love you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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