sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
So. Much. Porn.
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