it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
