nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
