I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
