goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.