What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.