She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷