So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.