Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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