In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
