You smell like a Billy Joel song
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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