New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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