I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
