That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
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