now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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