Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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