If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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