how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
babies were throwing up all over the place
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
