what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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