You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
