I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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