I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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