There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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