Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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