look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Alive.
So much puke
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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