I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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