ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
