Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
