Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
