I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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